Let`s just be really honest for a minute. Sarah Palin`s a piece of ass and I`d unload an entire civilization on her eyeglasses. But the only reason she was elevated from governor of the country`s most unpleasant state to celebrity was because John McCain needed to offset the fact that he`s an old fuddy dud that says "Listen friends" as often as I say "Are you sure its mine?". That`s a lot.
Sarah has a book out. I`m never going to read the damn thing unless I learn there`s a chapter titled "The Road From Sportscaster To Porn Was Like The Dirtbag`s Johnson. Long And Enjoyable."
Venezuelan President, and future recipient of the Academy Award Lifetime Achievement honor, Hugo Chavez, is being criticized for his government´s response to his country´s drought.
"Any cloud that crosses me, I´ll zap it so that it rains," Chavez said at a ceremony late on Saturday with family members of five Cubans convicted of spying in the United States.
The government has been criticized for poor planning after it was forced to impose strict water rationing in the capital Caracas and power rationing in other parts of the country. - Reuters
Can you imagine a candidate for the U.S. Presidency proposing that their solution for a drought was "zapping" and getting elected? Ok, bad example if my future ex-lover Sarah Palin runs. But it´s idiot talk unless you are a mid-level tribal leader with brown streaks of paint made from human feces on your face and pigeon feathers glued to your ass.
If you spend any time reading these posts, you know the news portions only serve the higher purpose of setting up fascinating anecdotes about my epic life. I´m currently in Forks Washington, home of the bitchin´ Twilight series my love of which supports the long standing accusations of me being kind of effeminate, and it´s the rainiest city in the continental U.S. It´s forecast to rain 12 inches in 24 hours. Which is more than in Venezuela. I am Edward.
Like I haven´t been predicting this for months. Now someone that has actually abandoned any aspirations of a social life read the Pelosi health plan is confirming my uncanny foresight. Individuals that don´t maintain health insurance, up to the standards of Madame Pelosi, face jail time.
"Today, Ranking Member of the House Ways and Means Committee Dave Camp (R-MI) released a letter from the non-partisan Joint Committee on Taxation (JCT) confirming that the failure to comply with the individual mandate to buy health insurance contained in the Pelosi health care bill (H.R. 3962, as amended) could land people in jail. The JCT letter makes clear that Americans who do not maintain “acceptable health insurance coverage” and who choose not to pay the bill’s new individual mandate tax (generally 2.5% of income), are subject to numerous civil and criminal penalties, including criminal fines of up to $250,000 and imprisonment of up to five years." - Big Government
The sun rises. The rain falls. Sarah Palin calls the FBI every time I send her a letter admiring her breasts. These are all invariable truths. And government knows what´s best for you, and imprisons you for disagreeing.
Here are the pictures that MoveOn.org released to promote the "success" of their health care rallies in NYC, Philadelphia and Indianapolis. And no, I didn´t cherry pick these photos like I do when I´m looking for pictures that show Sarah Palin´s boobs. These are the pictures that show the largest number of people, direct from MoveOn´s pathetic website.
I hosted a BBQ last Sunday here at my Brazilian tropical island bungalow. We had more people than MoveOn drew to any one of their rallies. And that isn´t counting the women we paid to come, either. Or the fine gentlemen sequestered on the sixth level playing Dungeons & Dragons. So here is a tip for MoveOn if you want to pull in more fanatics than reporters: offer free beer wheat grass juice.
Sarah Palin´s first speech outside of North America (Yay! What a milestone!) got rave reviews from some attendees. Like the ones that focused all their mental powers of concentration imagining her wearing the glasses and heels to bed.
"Several audience members reportedly walked out of Ms Palin’s speech 30 minutes before the end, citing “more important things to do” or describing the talk as “too partisan and too much like a speech at the Republican convention”.
One senior fund manager told The Times that the 80-minute lecture, and the lack of an opportunity to fire any questions at Ms Palin, was a disappointment. “You would think that with her team of speechwriters and a supposedly media-free environment Palin could have afforded to be either funny or thought-provoking, but she was neither,” she said. - The Times Online UK
Oh Sarah, the world just isn´t ready for someone that is 80% looks and 20% brain you yet. Come home to daddy and let me and my little friend teach you how to make special romance. And for safety purposes, you´re going to want to keep those glasses on.
