Serbian political outcast turned reality TV dope, Milorad "Rod" Blagojevich, secretly wishes he had a longer penis and better times in the 100 yard dash. But now that he´s made his wish to be black public, he´s in desperate need of a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken to ease the racial tension.
"I´m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes." - News Pics Videos
Racially, I´m not connecting the dots with what Blagojevich is trying to say. If memory serves, the best shoe shines I´ve ever gotten are from Dragoslav, the disfigured Serbian refugee working the airport gig over there in Detroit City.
Blago has made a point to promote his new acting career. The video below captures Blago invoking a negro dialect during an on-set audition to replace Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder 2.
I don´t know what dey call blackies out dere in Neeee-vada, but they must speak awfal funny compared to that Barack fella.
"Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, the majority leader, apologized on Saturday for saying that he believed Barack Obama could become the country’s first black president because he was “light-skinned” and had the advantage of carrying “no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.”" - News-Pics-Videos
In fairness to Harry, he could be the first Mormon president because he has the advantage of not having 27 wives, fornicating with 9 year old girls and living on the compound. Sadly he won´t go to heaven until he does.
The DBC Roommate writes all day, and gets more readers than I do. That makes him a superhero. Like all superheroes, he has an arch nemesis. In this case the arch nemesis posts retarded comments on as many of DBC Roommate´s articles as possible. He´s a 4´ 7", African American, supposedly high school educated dwarf from Chicago that goes by the handle a-hole. Only he spells it ahol888.
Whatever, the point is that since Chicago is dropping the police officer entrance exam to allow more minorities to qualify, a-hole can badge-up and waddle down the street chasing other minorities.
"Dropping the exam would bolster minority hiring and avert legal battles, according to one source, while others confirm that the exam could be scrapped to open the process to as many people as possible." - NPV
Hopefully Chicago doesn´t decide it needs more minority doctors anytime soon.
Al Qaeda is slipping. Time was, they could bring down millions of tons of concrete and steel before Dhuhr (thats the noontime prayer for you infidels non-Muslim readers). These days when they aren´t stuffing C4 explosives in their ass they´re afro-engineering Fruit of the Loom bombs.
"A singed pair of underwear with a packet of powder sewn into the crotch, seen in government photos obtained exclusively by ABC News, is all that remains of al Qaeda´s attempt to down an American passenger plane over Detroit.
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab
The underwear with the explosive worn by alleged Northwest 253 bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is shown in this undated photo.
As seen in these photos, the alleged bomb consisted of a packet of powder sewn into the briefs of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, a 23-year-old Nigerian. Al Qaeda took credit Monday for the attempted bombing, boasted of its ability to overcome U.S. intelligence and airport security, and promised new attacks." - NPV
I´m still confused about a few things. Why is the US getting attacked now that Obama is president? And further, why is it that when certain African American people disagree with something (like the premise of the question posed above), their argument begins and ends with "youz a ignorant fool"? And if Abdulmatullab´s such a rich kid, why do his underpants look like the pair I donated to the Salvation Army after my jalapeno popper party?
Despite the best laid plans, that party didn´t end well BTW.
Jose Feliciano wrote the song "Feliz Navidad" and judging by his name he´s Mexican. Ok he isn´t, but lets just assume I didn´t care enough to find out that he´s actually Puerto Rican. Whats the difference anyway?
Grammy-winner Jose Feliciano is outraged that the theme from his holiday song "Feliz Navidad" was used for a musical spoof about undocumented immigrants. -
NPV
I don´t know what the hell Jose is even talking about. The song isn´t about undocumented immigrants. It´s about illegal aliens, dumbass. Beside, denying a group the right to their own song is downright discrimination.
The cover story on the upcoming Golf Digest is "10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger", and the two of them are posing like BFF`s (brutha friends fo-eva). But dat shit be hittin the mutha fuckin fan now yo!
"The editors at Golf Digest had this great idea. President Barack Obama has been playing a lot of golf lately. And according to a detailed report in The Wall Street Journal, not playing that well. So why not invite Tiger Woods, the world`s pre-eminent golfer, to give the president some tips?" - Chicago Times
Though the magazine tried to do a last minute swap on the cover photo, it was too late to beat the deadline. However, we`ve managed to obtain the top 10 tips from Tiger to Barack that the editors are frantically attempting to incorporate into the story.
10. Casinos have lotz of dem cameras, so wear one of dem big-ass afro wigs.
9. No matter what gonna happen, porn stars are da b-o-m-b.
8. You can`t be using yo real name when talkin up da hos. Get tricky with yo name, like Igertay Oodsway.
7. Don`t be watchin no video of Nancy Pelosi before you about to go ballin`. That shit`ll MESS up yo game.
6. If the Secretive Service be sayin don`t use no blackberry, true dat.
5. What up with the higher taxes yo? Fuck dat brutha!
4. You ever tried dat Ambien before you get inta Michelle?
3. What is you all white and shit now? Switch out the Obama-mobile with a black ass Escalade. RepreSENT dat sheeeeet!
2. Is Michelle half white like you man? Don`t marry no crazy ass white bitch.
1. Monica Lewinsky is fugly dude, don`t go down like dat.
Eric Schmidt, the CEO of Google, is an Obama adviser and his next meeting with the boss is going to be as fun as that time I had to explain this site to my mom.
"For most of the past week, when someone typed "Michelle Obama" in the popular search engine Google, one of the first images that came up was a picture of the American first lady altered to resemble a monkey." - CNN
I´ve spent the better part of my adult life marveling at fate´s cruelty understanding and exploiting the way Google determines what search results appear at the top of their list. In short, the more respected sites that link to an image or page, the higher it appears in the search results. This Michelle Obama gaff isn´t an indicator of a flaw on Google´s well developed algorithm. Their math is wicked awesome. It simply reveals what content is well linked and trafficked. Draw your own conclusion on why this image would fit that category.
While you´re doing that, realize that even the morphed picture of Michelle is sexier than Google´s top images of Barbara Bush. Its important to tell you, I´d rather have sex with a belt sander.
The constantly hypocrital party that claims to have the best interest of minorities at heart appears to have preferences when it comes to skin color. Voters were given a choice between a photo of a lighter-skinned version of Barack Obama versus a darker-skinned version and most voters who consider themselves Democrats last year selected the lighter version.
One of the researchers, Eugene Caruso of the University of Chicago, discovered that participants whose partisanship was the same as that of the candidate "consistently rated the lightened photographs as more representative of the candidate than the darkened photographs, whereas participants whose partisanship did not match that of the candidate showed the opposite pattern." - The Grio
Don´t expect the media to report this.
I´m neither Democrat or Republican, but when shown a light version and a dark version of Michael Jackson and asked "which looks like they have a shot at a medical malpractice suit and the next Batman movie?" I answered like the liberals in the study. Sha-mo!
We ain´t havin no Oreo cookies in this here parish boy! We´ze lucky sum folk still have a bit of sense left inside dere heads.
"A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.
Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.
"I try to treat everyone equally," he said. - Breitbart
Below is video footage of another Louisiana Justice of the Peace that´s a bit more progressive than Bardwell. "Ten fingas on da fenda boy."
Ex convict, bigot, tax cheat, racist and PETA spokesman Reverand Al Sharpton is seeking a meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to convince him that Rush Limbaugh shouldn´t be allowed to buy the St. Louis Rams on moral grounds.
"Sharpton argued that Limbaugh has been “anti-NFL” in his comments about several of the league’s players, specifically naming Philadelphia Eagles quarterbacks Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick." - Politico.
Fantasy: Criticizing Michael Vick´s slaughter of domesticated animals for entertainment, and acknowledging that Donovan McNabbs average career is average, is anti-NFL because they are both black guys.
Reality: The NFL empowers more minorities with massive wealth to become prominent criminals than any other organization in the history of the planet. Sharpton doesn´t want anything to upset that apple cart.
Najibullah Zazi is the Afghan-American butthole that was mixing cooked off hydrogen peroxide and acetone in order to put a few hundred pounds of shit-your-pants on the New York subway.
"A grand jury indicted a 24-year-old Afghan immigrant on a charge of conspiring to carry out bombings in the U.S., alleging he and unnamed others planned to make explosives from hair products and household cleaners in what officials say may be the first live al Qaeda cell disrupted on American soil since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks." - Wall Street Journal
Here is Zazi´s official FBI profile:
-Taxi Driver Complete With Smell - Check!
-Crooked Beady Eyes - Check!
-Afghan-Dirt-People Beard Of A Goat Shepard - Check!
Round this fuck stick up and toss him boys; he was going to kill our babies just because they´ll grow up to buy Nike´s and watch Spongebob Squarepants. I´m so happy, I´m going to watch some of that porn where the girls don´t wear traditional village veils on their face. How bout THEM apples Zazi!
My roommate remains a black man in good standing, and he authorized me to use the term "Wigger" as needed in this post. So spare me your mock sensibilities.
Officer Strain got demoted by the Philadelphia PD for wearing corn rows, while other black police officers continually violate the fashion policy without consequence.
"The Philadelphia Daily News reported Monday that Officer Thomas Strain was put on desk duty this month because of the braids, even though the paper reported dozens of black officers wear cornrows."-
MSNBC
I´m not saying Officer Strain made a good hair decision. It didn´t work for Axl Rose and it ain´t working for him. It worked for David Beckham but he´s pretty enough to make me reconsider my personal "output only" policy that applies to certain of my sensitive areas.
Officer Strain fought as a hero of the Iraq War twice over. He twisted his hair into some knots like the black guys do. Let him protect the fine people of Philly.
Rasmussen reports that in January, only about 15% of Americans `strongly disapproved` of Obama. This month the `strongly disapprove` number is over 40%. According to hee-haw peanut farmer Jimmy Carter, that disapproval is driven by racism.
"I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he´s African-American," Carter told "NBC Nightly News." - CNN
If we are to believe Jimmy Boy, the explanation for this rise in disapproval for Obama is that millions of Americans are just now realizing that he is a black dude. Either that, or the entire country wasn´t racist in January but they are now.
As they say in Georgia, if Jimmy´s brains were dynamite *spits out massive amount of tobacco juice* he wouldn´t have enough to blow his nose.
