Bernie Madoff got the critical beat down in Butner prison, and was admitted to the hospital for face, rib and lung injuries. Source NPV
I`m sure Bernie put up a hell of a fight. For a Wall Street Jew, that means curling up and moaning about his bad back and stomach ailments more than is normally required on a daily basis.
We are waiting to learn what rate of return Bernie offered inmates willing to invest a pack of Lucky Strikes. Since his attackers were likely members of the Savage Ghetto Investor Cabal, Chuck Norris is not a suspect. But, you wouldn`t know it if he was.
The fine young gentleman in the photo above first struck me as a frugal protester. He recycled last week`s banner for the gay parade for this week`s demonstration at the climate summit. Maybe he`s Jewish like Adam Lambert, I just don`t know.
But someone once told me "I believe the children are our are future. Teach them well and let them lead the way." That someone was crack whore Whitney Houston. Crack whores sometimes say inspiring things, so I listen. I hear. What if the youngster in the image is making a bigger point? When it comes to climate change: be gay to lead the way.
Sure, gay people dance around far more than they need to, which increases their CO2 exhalations, but they don`t reproduce like you breeders do. They are literally the fruit at the end of the family tree. We can all agree that a world without future generations is a world without man made global warming.
China claims dominance in population control, which may be why they removed removed their "gay hooliganism" law in 1997 and made the progressive leap in 2001 to stop defining gayness as a mental disorder. They are thinking long term.
It can no longer be considered a coincidence that the political party preaching global warming is also the party supporting gay rights. There is a plan people. You may not fit into that plan, but this thing is bigger than all of us. With any luck, the entire global population in 2100 will consist of two happy men that have hoarded everything that sparkles, two bitter women that beat the men`s ass at bowling and the gay pride that comes along with saving a planet by eliminating it`s inhabitants.
Then again, Whitney Houston also said Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all. So if you just want to stop having sex and masturbate, that`s cool too. But you WILL go blind.
Joe Lieberman heads the Senate Homeland Security Committee, and thatīs turning out to the best news so far in this cluster fuck. He said "Fort Hood", "Terrorist" and "Prevent" in the same breath which is a quantum leap over the other pansies in charge.
"A senior U.S. senator on Sunday said the shootings at Fort Hood could have been a terrorist attack, and that he would launch a congressional investigation into whether the U.S. military could have prevented it.
Sen. Joe Lieberman, an independent from Connecticut who heads the Senateīs Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee, said initial evidence suggested that the alleged shooter, Army Major Nidal Hasan, was a "self-radicalized, home-grown terrorist" who had turned to Islamic extremism while under personal stress." - WSJ
If Jew Lieberman had ventured to mention Chuck Norris, and I happened to be under a black light, my pants would be glowing like a full moon. You ever wonder why terrorists donīt spend more time attacking groups elected officials? I have a theory...
Ok ok, Muslim is a peaceful religion. Except the parts that mandate killing Christians and Jews. A true Muslim or Christian accepts the literal word of their faith as unwavering law. Remember that when God is mentioned below, they mean the God promising virgins. Not the other God unleashing plagues and wiping out non-believers with a flood.
"Fight those who believe not in God nor the last day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by God and His Apostle, nor acknowledge the religion of truth, (even if they are) of the people of the Book [Christians and Jews], until they pay the jizya [tribute] with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued. The Jews call Uzair [Ezra] a son of God, and the Christians call Christ the Son of God ... Godīs curse be on them." - Sura 9:29-31
Good times. Or this one...
"The punishment of those who wage war against God and His Apostle, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land." - Sura 5:36-38
Such peaceful, loving passages of understanding. Iīm surprised Hallmark hasnīt bought the copyright to the Koran. If I quoted the Koran, or the Old Testament, at the airport Iīd never catch my flight. I may however make friends with a latex covered finger.
And a note to Christians. A holier-than-thou approach to the Koran will compel me to document the calls to arms in the Bible. Just sayin, everyone chill.
As the media fuels swine flu fear with reports that there is a shortage of vaccines, a small number of political prisoners in Cuba enjoy the opportunity of inoculation:
"Officials announced on October 30th that H1N1 vaccinations will be made available to detainees at Guantanamo Bay.
This news comes as President Obama has declared the swine flu outbreak a national emergency and as reports of H1N1 vaccine shortages are being documented." - Examiner
Letīs do this: We shouldnīt assume that the H1N1 vaccine will kill the Gitmo prisoners like Louis Farrakhan says it will. So we wait until there is a public gun fair in Tel Aviv. We outfit the Gitmo detainees in "Hitler Is My Homie" robes, and drop them off near whichever ammo counter is offering the biggest discount (everyone knows Jews love a bargain). Open season.
Joseph Cohen (he was born a Jew), now known as Yousef al-Khattab, is posting hate disguised as a prayer on his website. And getting away with it.
"A New York bicycle cabbie who last year used his Web site to mock the beheading of journalist Daniel Pearl posted a prayer calling for the murder of Jews and exhorting Muslims to īthrow liquid drain cleaner in their faces.ī And thereīs nothing authorities can do about it.
Yousef al-Khattab...insists the words he has posted on his Web site are a prayer, and not a threat and that his hatred is protected by the First Amendment." - Foxnews
Heīs A jew hating jew, that prays that you throw Drano at elderly deli owners. And he claims to have dirty whore loving cock face Touretteīs syndrome.
I spent my formative years attending church four times a week and in private religious school (thanks mom!). So Iīve written my own prayer, which I hope will deliver salvation to Yousef.
Dear sweet baby Jesus, who watched over me last night while I was banging that Lebanese girl, you were born a Jew that the Jews ended up not liking really a lot. But even in your darkest moment, those fuckers didnīt drench you in Drano.
Lo it is true that the Jews are your people, which is why they are the only race smart enough to be able to weasel their way out of getting in trouble for hate speech. But clearly Yousef has strayed from the tribe. For if he were a good Jew, he would own the bike taxi company instead of riding one for so few sheckles.
So I pray to you on this day, that you make an example of Yousef. But if itīs alright with you Jesus, Iīm looking for one of those kick ass Old Testament examples. You were kind of a pussy in the New Testament (no offense). Amen.
Of all the world leaders I could hope to have on my [insert any activity] team, Netanyahu is the one. After he rammed a few blueprints of Nazi death camps up the U.N.īs asses today to demonstrate that the holocaust happened, he made it clear that he dreams of unleashing a preemptive shit storm into Iran that will turn the sand deserts of Iran into a pool of glass.
"īPerhaps some of you think that this man and his odious regime, perhaps they threaten only the Jews. Well, if you think that, youīre wrong. Youīre dead wrong,ī he said.
He also castigated U.N. delegates who stayed for Ahmadinejadīs speech before the General Assembly.
īHave you no shame? Have you no decency?ī he asked." - MSNBC
I donīt mean to sound conceited, but is it possible that Netanyahu doesnīt read the Dirtbag Chronicle? If he did, he would know that not only does the U.N. have no shame, but most of the people in there hate Jews too. Other than that though, they have Israelīs back fo shizzle.
As far as his prediction about Iran being a threat to the rest of the world? Say what you will about Jews ability to party down, but they arenīt wrong about very much, very often.
The guy that sits in the Kremlin stroking a white cat, waiting for the red phone to ring with false news that 007 is FINALLY dead, and getting back rubs from his smoking hot secretary has come up with a whopper this time.
"Israel promised Russia it would not launch an attack on Iran, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said in an interview aired on Sunday in which he described such an assault as `the worst thing that can be imagined.`" - Reuters
Only one problem comrade...
"I donīt think that, with all due respect, the Russian president is authorised to speak for Israel and certainly we have not taken any option off the table." Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon - Reuters
So here is how this is playing out. Russia wants to continue to sell weapons to Iran. But they donīt want to be taken to task for selling the missiles that probably couldnīt even knock the Israeli jets out of Iraninan airspace. So they announce that Israel promised them (in private) that they will never strike Iran. Now when if Israel does turn the pride of Iranian nuclear technology into a smoking hole, Russia can shift attention from themselves, to the Jews, for going back on their word. After all, you know how shifty those Jews are.
Russia: All the resource to win the cold war, matched with all the political brainpower to lose it.
Madoff rose to the pinnacle of wealth redistribution eeee-vile-ness by bilking old ladies out of the money their husbands left them and stimulating the economy via private jets and inept management of charitable funds. By this measurement he is a liberal role model.
Whenever I watch bad guy movies like Wall Street or Scarface I root for the villain. Every one of those movies has a point where its best to turn off the show and make up your own ending where the bad guy prevails. Iīd turn off the Madoff story right before he turns himself in to the feds (Idiot!).
If Bernie was a villain in a 007 movie he would have a crew of latinos spring him from the jail bound bus, throw him into the ocean where a super secret submarine would be waiting to hustle him off to Aruba. Unfortunately, 71 year old Jewish dudes donīt do anything cool like that.
