As previously reported in the posting New Stealth Ship Fights Japanese Whalers, a team of activists thought a phallic carbon dinghy powered by cooking grease and armed with a kick ass stereo would collapse an entire industry. They were wrong.
Donīt you just love how even AFTER the Ady Gil has been completely keel hauled, some Japanese descendant of Admiral Yamamoto yells Tora! Tora! Tora! and tries to behead the Ady crew with a salt-water cannon.
Note: Yes I think the Ady Gil got themselves rammed on purpose to make you feel sorry for them. And to collect the insurance money for their useless ship.
In an attempt to reduce greenhouse gases, All Nippon Airlines is asking that you make a potty before you get on the plane.
"A Japanese airline has started asking passengers to go to the toilet before boarding in a bid to reduce carbon emissions.
Based on an average human bladder capacity of 15oz, if 150 passengers relieved themselves on board an aircraft, this would amount to 63.7kg of waste." - UK Daily Mail
All Nippon neglected to calculate the potential weight savings if all passengers were asked to fart, spit, trim their nails, clean their ears, pick their nose (without eating it!), pop their zits and ejaculate (twice) before boarding the plane. Iīm going to conduct a before-and-after weight experiment and send them my findings. If this is my last posting, it means my destiny has been realized and Iīve been hired as a body function consultant.
Iīm in an unusually pissy mood today because I wasted all my time recovering the site instead of showering the world with my awesome sun beams of wit. Some little punk in Russia attacked our server in apparent retaliation to this or this posting. I am THIS CLOSE to boycotting Russian Vodka until after dinner.
In any case, the Al Gore congregation that believes Alīs sermon about the world ending in 2016 (unless we all start consuming as much energy as Al Gore does on his planes and mansions less energy) have new validation from the Governor of Tokyo.
īGlobal warming is getting worse. We have to come up with measures without which Olympic Games could not last long.ī
īIt could be that the 2016 Games are the last Olympics in the history of mankind,ī Ishihara told reporters at a Tokyo 2016 press event ahead of the vote." - Tokyo Governor Reuters
Like Reverend Gore, Ishihara is offering both doom and salvation in the same breath. He says that if the Olympics are held in Tokyo, they will be a model for sustainable energy and recycling. He offers no guarantee for the planetīs future if another city is selected.
Two Japanese were caught with a shit load of U.S. Bonds heading from Italy to Switzerland. They had 249 treasury notes in their luggage, some of them worth $1 billion each.
"Are these would-be smugglers agents of Kim Jong Il stashing North Koreas cash in a Swiss vault? Bagmen for Nigerian Internet scammers? Was the money meant for terrorists looking to buy nuclear warheads? Is Japan dumping its dollars secretly? Are the bonds real or counterfeit?" - Bloomberg
I fancy myself a master criminal, and I have a few pointers for these two knobs. First, passing a One Billion dollar bill might require a managerīs sign-off at the local Banc Suisse branch. Second, have you ever heard of a little something called FedEx? Itīs a real bitch filling out all those shipping labels, especially if you are sending one treasury note at a time, but come on. I canīt help people that arenīt willing to help themselves.
