All of us are capable of change. I´m ready to jump on board the global warming bandwagon, fuel up Tiger Woods´ private jet and head to Copenhagen for some symbolic gestures supported by virtually no personal follow through. And some good old fashion free hooker sex.
"Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their COP15 identity card, according to the Web site avisen.dk." - Der Spiegel
When women have sex for money they´re called prostitutes. When women have sex for free they´re called...hmmm...uh...I guess no word exists for that. Apparently it´s a scenario that´s never happened in the history of the world.
Do you realize how hard it is to write clever observations like this while a smoking hot woman is looking over my shoulder? It´s called being a man with a woman that doesn´t understand English.
Brazil, the 2016 Olympic host, is considering legal action against Robin Williams for his explanation of how they managed to beat out Chicago´s bid for the summer games.
"Some citizens and officials in the Brazilian city are upset with comments the comedian made on a recent appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman, saying Rio received the 2016 Olympics because it sent “50 strippers and a pound of blow” to compete with Chicago’s entourage that included Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey." - Yahoo
What Williams failed to clarify in the quote, is whether the Brazilian weekend package he described was sent to the Olympic selection committee, or to admitted cocaine user Barack Obama as incentive to tank his pitch. We can only speculate as to whether free sex and drugs are capable of influence.
Since the Earth´s temperature is cooling, the environmentalist agency´s have been caught fudging data and the majority of the U.S. population doesn´t give a fat crap about any of it, the United Nations is trying a new tactic to put an evil face on exhaling carbon dioxide.
"The effects of climate change have driven women in communities in coastal areas in poor countries like the Philippines into dangerous work, and sometimes even the flesh trade, a United Nations official said."GMANews
Global warming is now responsible for an increase in fun prostitution. I assume this revelation is a new tact intended to convince the moral right that they actually should care. Next up, global warming is responsible for your sister´s herpes and Deadwood getting canceled from HBO before it´s time. Two tragedies indeed, but I can only be blamed for one of them.
NOTE: Anytime I can honestly tag an article with both "United Nations" and "Hookers" I feel like the world´s smartest man. You would too.
The election results are way to complicated for my pea brain to keep track of. Besides, no matter who´s elected in your district you´ll still be fucked. As soon as you realize that and stop caring, you´ll be a degenerate tax cheat like me happier person. But I did notice that Ohio´s getting casinos and it made me think...
It is the fifth gambling proposal Ohio voters have seen in 20 years. They roundly rejected the others. Ohio would become the 39th state to legalize casinos if the measure were approved and would join neighboring casino states Indiana, Michigan, Pennsylvania and West Virginia.
Elizabeth Groen, 56, voting in the Cincinnati suburb of Anderson Township Tuesday morning, supports casinos.
"They are going everywhere else," Groen said. "It´s time that Ohio gets on board." - AP
Gambling, prostitution, drugs and carbon emission. The degree to which they are a moral outrage is inversely proportionate to the rate at which they are taxed. We´re all going to heaven now!
One of the benefits of having to write this dribble every damn day is that sometimes I learn new things. Today I learned that prostitution is legal in Costa Rica and there is a poon-tang price war underway as the global recession is blamed for an increased supply of hookers there.
"not everyone is happy about the increased competition, which, along with a contracting economy, has required some prostitutes to lower their prices by as much as 40 to 50 percent." - Huffington Post
Thank you for meddling with the economy Obama and Bush. I take back all those times I called you retarded douchebags. I´m guessing that the same phenomenon of competitive capitalistic copulation is occurring in other points of paradise besides Costa Rica. Like, you know, Detroit.
A note to anyone in the Dirtbag Mob that has access to a private jet that can pick me up in Brazil and make a "lay over" in Costa Rica...you fly, I buy. The first round of Honduras strange is on me.
The French Culture Minister wrote an autobiography that highlights his appetite for young male Asian prostitutes. I know it´s hard to believe. The man who defines French Culture is a gay, whore mongering, pedophile.
"The new French culture minister, Frédéric Mitterrand, is fighting to save his brief ministerial career after opposition politicians expressed disgust at his autobiography, in which he justified sex tourism and admitted "paying for boys".
The choice [of appointing Mitterrand] was reportedly influenced by the President [Sarkozy] wife, Carla Bruni, who has been trying to broaden the her husband´s cultural horizons." - Huffington Post
I´ve already established that I have a averaged sized, uncomfortably erect thing for Carla Bruni, but until now it was only because her body is like Kabul. It´s bombed out.
Now it´s because I know she tells her husband how to do his job. She has declared her open position on polygamy. Maybe if Obama took her as the second first lady, we´d have a presidential mouthpiece that talks as tough on Iran as fucking pansy ass France.
Here is an actual photo of the Pimp and Ho that`s been going undercover to get advice from ACORN on opening brothels. I`d do the babe seven ways to Sunday, but what`s up with white bread? You have to be a special kind of stupid to buy his act. Cosmo Kramer is more believable wearing the Technicolor Dreamcoat.
ACORN, the community organization that helps low to moderate income families get fraudulent loans affordable housing, dead people registered as voters and was hired by Barack Obama for $800,000 to "Get out and buy the vote" has branched out into management consulting for pimps.
"Two more ACORN officials were fired Friday after a second video surfaced showing staffers in the Washington DC office offering to help a man and woman posing as a pimp and prostitute acquire illegal home loans that would help them set up a brothel.
The firings came less than 24 hours after another pair of ACORN officials from the Baltimore office were canned for instructing the "pimp" and "prostitute" how to falsify tax forms and seek illegal benefits for 13 "very young" girls from El Salvador that pair said they wanted to import to work as child prostitutes." - Fox News
I´m sure these are isolated incidences where the employees went outside their day to day duties. The fact that it happened twice in less than a week in two separate ACORN offices is just a coincidence.
Personally I´m never surprised when someone asks for my professional opinion on the accounting and tax implications of importing Salvadorian child prostitutes. The first time I had to ask my boss for help, but I´m good now.
A group of drunk-ass fools got rolled by a trio of fat escorts from Craigslist.
"The women ducked into a bedroom and started rooting around for things to steal, including a Blackberry and some jewelry," Hansen said. The men saw them and tried to stop them, but the women raced back to their car.
The men chased after them, but one man was run over when he tried block the women from driving off. The man suffered injuries that required a two-day hospital stay, Hansen said. The men were were unable to get a license plate number.
While trying to describe the suspects to police, the men decided to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10. Three of the victems said the women all rated a "2." But the man described by police as the most intoxicated disagreed and claimed they rated a "4." -
The Seattle Times.
This is kind of a coincidence. My mom said she just got a new (used) Blackberry and some jewelry. Anyway, notice how the reporter doesn´t specify whether the man was run over by the car or the hooker? I´m just sayin´.
General Joseph Hooker (its claimed that his name was the inspiration for the term hooker) brought organized drunkedness and prostitution to American military engagements way back during the Civil War. It seems he was the first ranking American officer to publicly observe that war zones are more enjoyable in a whiskey stupor, and that nothing promotes a steady trigger hand more than avoiding masturbation at any cost.
Meanwhile at the US Embassy Afghanistan:
"Prostitutes allegedly were brought in for birthday parties, drunken guards engaged in brawls and boozy lawn parties turned into naked affairs where guests urinated on one another, according to photos and videos obtained by the nonprofit group." - NY Daily News
The Dirtbag officially condemns none of the activities above, while Secretary of the Fun Police Hillary Clinton is maintaining credibility by admonishing what amounts to a normal weekend for her husband.
