Max Baucus took time out from appointing his mistress to high ranking office, giving her raises and flying her around the globe at taxpayers expense to deliver a "passionate defense" on the Senate floor about health care. Unfortunately some people are mistaking "passionate" for "drunk off his ass".
A spokesman for Baucus released the following statement: "When his friend of 30 years Ted Kennedy, with whom he had fought so hard to provide health care to children, was being used as a cheap foil to oppose health care reform, Senator Baucus gave a passionate defense.
Unfortunately, those who want to kill any meaningful reform, turned it into an unfounded, untrue personal smear internet rumor. This is beyond the pale and this type of gutter politics has no place in the public sphere. It is this type of slander that makes Montanans, and Americans, disgusted with the politics as usual in Washington. And what is even more sad is that such a personal attack would be given any validity at all, let alone being elevated to the status of ´news´." - NPV
Well Baucus-Spokesman-Dude: untrue internet smears, gutter politics, elevating personal attacks to news, and slander beyond the pale is our business here at Dirtbag. And business is good.
And another thing. In the public relations world, when you have the choice between blaming your boss´s slurring, incoherent, off-balance behavior on booze or outright retardedness, you want to go with booze.
Update: When we posted this, the view counter on Youtube was 176k. Which was exactly the same as many hours prior, even though thousands of new comments had been posted to the video in that same time frame. Google owns YouTube. The CEO of Google is an Obama adviser. Google´s slogan is "Don´t be evil". Would Google accidentally stop counting new views? Draw your own conclusions.
The Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas has heeded the cry of their jolly, but brainwashed, membership and are insisting on receiving the H1N1 vaccine. Even if it kills them.
"Many of the nation´s Santas want to be given priority for the vaccine and not just because of those runny-nosed kids. There´s also the not-so-little matter of that round belly. Research has suggested obesity could be a risk factor.
Swine flu has become such a concern that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas featured a seminar on the illness at a recent conference in Philadelphia. The group also urged its members to use hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems. - MSNBC
If we are to believe Louis Farrakhan, or all the chiropractors that spam my Facebook page with threats of vaccine induced death, this holiday season is going down as the synthetic fur and annoying hand bell version of Jonestown. I´m crying on the inside.
I didn´t know New Zealand had any problems other than all the armies of trolls, dragons and warlocks that were caught on film during the documentary "The Lord Of The Rings". Some mayor there named Mr. Laws, has proposed that the dregs of society (poor people) that are unfit to breed be offered $10,000 to be voluntarily sterilized. Not everyone likes the plan.
"Mr Laws argued that "liberal methods´´ of beating the problem had failed.
But his "solution" has been branded "draconian" and "totalitarian´´ by the country´s child health advocates who are calling for him to stand down as a city mayor.
"I just find it such a disgraceful attitude," Child Poverty Action Group director Janfrie Wakim said." - News
Let me guess. If there are less kids in dire straights because their parents are impoverished junkie criminals, people like Janfrie Wakim are out of a job. We wouldn´t want that, would we sweetheart.
And I don´t mean to dick with Mr. Mayors reasoning, but his pay-not-to-breed idea is still a liberal method. He assumes the only two choices are the government paying people to not fuck up or paying to clean up the mess after they fuck up. There´s actually a third option.
General Joseph Hooker (its claimed that his name was the inspiration for the term hooker) brought organized drunkedness and prostitution to American military engagements way back during the Civil War. It seems he was the first ranking American officer to publicly observe that war zones are more enjoyable in a whiskey stupor, and that nothing promotes a steady trigger hand more than avoiding masturbation at any cost.
Meanwhile at the US Embassy Afghanistan:
"Prostitutes allegedly were brought in for birthday parties, drunken guards engaged in brawls and boozy lawn parties turned into naked affairs where guests urinated on one another, according to photos and videos obtained by the nonprofit group." - NY Daily News
The Dirtbag officially condemns none of the activities above, while Secretary of the Fun Police Hillary Clinton is maintaining credibility by admonishing what amounts to a normal weekend for her husband.
