Typically TSA workers only make the news for monumentally fucking up whenever an auditor successfully slips a Tellar-Ulam thermonuclear warhead through the metal detector.
It`s refreshing to learn that America`s $5 per hour guardians can get noticed for something new and different. Like planting a bag of cocaine into someone`s bag as a joke.
"A TSA worker was staring at 22 year old Rebecca Solomon. He motioned her toward him.
Then he pulled a small, clear plastic bag from her carry-on - the sort of baggie that a pair of earrings might come in. Inside the bag was fine, white powder.
She remembers his words: "Where did you get it?"
Put yourself in her place and count out 20 seconds. Her heart pounded. She started to sweat. She panicked at having to explain something she couldn`t.
Now picture her expression as the TSA employee started to smile.
Just kidding, he said. He waved the baggie. It was his." - News-Pics-Videos
The story fails to mention why Rebbecca was in such a panic when she saw that dime bag of snow. Perhaps she was muling a few kilos for the Mexican Mafia and was terrified that so much of the basulco had gone missing. I would be.
If any of you readers work security at Changi Airport in Singapore, and you need a good laugh, you now know what to do.
The fine young gentleman in the photo above first struck me as a frugal protester. He recycled last week`s banner for the gay parade for this week`s demonstration at the climate summit. Maybe he`s Jewish like Adam Lambert, I just don`t know.
But someone once told me "I believe the children are our are future. Teach them well and let them lead the way." That someone was crack whore Whitney Houston. Crack whores sometimes say inspiring things, so I listen. I hear. What if the youngster in the image is making a bigger point? When it comes to climate change: be gay to lead the way.
Sure, gay people dance around far more than they need to, which increases their CO2 exhalations, but they don`t reproduce like you breeders do. They are literally the fruit at the end of the family tree. We can all agree that a world without future generations is a world without man made global warming.
China claims dominance in population control, which may be why they removed removed their "gay hooliganism" law in 1997 and made the progressive leap in 2001 to stop defining gayness as a mental disorder. They are thinking long term.
It can no longer be considered a coincidence that the political party preaching global warming is also the party supporting gay rights. There is a plan people. You may not fit into that plan, but this thing is bigger than all of us. With any luck, the entire global population in 2100 will consist of two happy men that have hoarded everything that sparkles, two bitter women that beat the men`s ass at bowling and the gay pride that comes along with saving a planet by eliminating it`s inhabitants.
Then again, Whitney Houston also said Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all. So if you just want to stop having sex and masturbate, that`s cool too. But you WILL go blind.
Brazil, the 2016 Olympic host, is considering legal action against Robin Williams for his explanation of how they managed to beat out Chicago´s bid for the summer games.
"Some citizens and officials in the Brazilian city are upset with comments the comedian made on a recent appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman, saying Rio received the 2016 Olympics because it sent “50 strippers and a pound of blow” to compete with Chicago’s entourage that included Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey." - Yahoo
What Williams failed to clarify in the quote, is whether the Brazilian weekend package he described was sent to the Olympic selection committee, or to admitted cocaine user Barack Obama as incentive to tank his pitch. We can only speculate as to whether free sex and drugs are capable of influence.
I didn´t know New Zealand had any problems other than all the armies of trolls, dragons and warlocks that were caught on film during the documentary "The Lord Of The Rings". Some mayor there named Mr. Laws, has proposed that the dregs of society (poor people) that are unfit to breed be offered $10,000 to be voluntarily sterilized. Not everyone likes the plan.
"Mr Laws argued that "liberal methods´´ of beating the problem had failed.
But his "solution" has been branded "draconian" and "totalitarian´´ by the country´s child health advocates who are calling for him to stand down as a city mayor.
"I just find it such a disgraceful attitude," Child Poverty Action Group director Janfrie Wakim said." - News
Let me guess. If there are less kids in dire straights because their parents are impoverished junkie criminals, people like Janfrie Wakim are out of a job. We wouldn´t want that, would we sweetheart.
And I don´t mean to dick with Mr. Mayors reasoning, but his pay-not-to-breed idea is still a liberal method. He assumes the only two choices are the government paying people to not fuck up or paying to clean up the mess after they fuck up. There´s actually a third option.
Before I begin I´d like to point out that yes, that is a ankle bracelet in the photo above and yes, that kind of thing normally turns me on.
I apologize for momentarily straying from my professional and strict focus on politics, but I had a thang for Lindsay Lohan before she changed her diet to an exclusive regiment of Marlboro red´s, cocaine, semen and morning-after-pills. Besides, she and Obama have history, so indulge me some T&A.
Lindsay is concerned that her dad is going to kidnap her.
“If I can’t get a conservatorship, then I’m going to take her to an undisclosed location and get her straight,” Michael Lohan told X17Online. “But I know I’m going to get charged with kidnapping.” - MSNBC
Yeah Michael, that would be kidnapping. But maybe it´s cool, because during the two years you spent in prison for substance abuse, you became a priest. Pehaps another stint in rehab would work for Lindsey better than it did last time when half the staff (male and female) qualified for STD clinical trials after she checked out. Some of us actually want to help Lindsay solve all her problems. By switching out her Valtrex with a little hemlock.
The Obama Administration says federal agents will no longer bust marijuana stores in states where anyone can pretend to have medical conditions enable the sale, possession and use of weed.
"Federal drug agents won´t pursue pot-smoking patients or their sanctioned suppliers in states that allow medical marijuana, under new legal guidelines to be issued Monday by the Obama administration.
Two Justice Department officials described the new policy to The Associated Press, saying prosecutors will be told it is not a good use of their time to arrest people who use or provide medical marijuana in strict compliance with state law." - AP
Some analysts expect an economic stimulus from the announcement. Sales of Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon, glow in the dark posters of unicorns, Cheetos and Wii game consoles are being monitored for an anticipated spike.
Those with more sophisticated minds (cocaine users) are watching the legal ramifications of this policy. Like, what will happen a few days from now when the next NBA star that suffers from "acute anxiety" gets photographed blowing half a gram of Purple Barack Kush through a shotgun in the front seat of their Escalade, and it isn´t legal to suspend them? High times ya´ll.
This was a cooler than average summer, there haven`t been any good hurricanes lately, and recent polls rank global warming as slightly less concerning to people than getting the cracks in their sidewalks filled.
So if you`re one of the ego maniacs that gets their rocks off telling other people what to do to prevent global warming, what can you do to compensate? Recruit the biggest names in music to record a global warming song! Or at least the biggest names in music from 25 years ago, and some other people no one has heard of.
Duran Duran and Scorpion headline an otherwise unknown group of "celebrities" that are singing a song to raise awareness. - AFP
Good luck with all that guys. I can`t wait to hear your excuses about how you have to fly private jets to the session because commercial airlines frown on cocaine use in the cabin.
