I have no idea what Chuck Norris is talking about, but you better listen up...
"Is it merely coincidental that Obama signed this executive Interpol order, and that the feds want to try these 9/11 terrorists in civilian courts rather than military courts?" Chuck Norris asks in his bizarre and hard-to-follow rant." - News Pics Videos
Chuck Norris operates on a higher plane than you and I. So if you donīt understand what heīs saying itīs your problem, not Chuckīs. Here are some facts about Chuck that you may not have known:
- Chuck Norris doesnīt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Outer space exists because itīs afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnīt lifting himself up, heīs pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norrisī hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
If he knows whatīs good for him, Obama better do the opposite of whatever Chuckīs accusing him of.
Bernie Madoff got the critical beat down in Butner prison, and was admitted to the hospital for face, rib and lung injuries. Source NPV
I`m sure Bernie put up a hell of a fight. For a Wall Street Jew, that means curling up and moaning about his bad back and stomach ailments more than is normally required on a daily basis.
We are waiting to learn what rate of return Bernie offered inmates willing to invest a pack of Lucky Strikes. Since his attackers were likely members of the Savage Ghetto Investor Cabal, Chuck Norris is not a suspect. But, you wouldn`t know it if he was.
I donīt know why this is big news, but the world is buzz buzz buzzing like a magical, sparkling, bumble bee about ABC canceling Adam Lambertīs concert on their network this morning.
ABC News canceled the concert after Lambertīs sexually charged performance at the American Music Awards Sunday night. Lambert led men on leashes, dragged a woman by her foot, and smashed a manīs head into his crotch, all while singing his new single "For Your Entertainment."
An ABC News spokesperson tells TVNewser, "given his controversial live performance on the AMAs we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning." - Media Bistro
First, smashing a manīs head onto your crotch is not gay. If you are Chuck Norris. Second, I see ABCīs point of view about the early time slot. Watching Madame Lambert at breakfast isnīt as appropriate as the gay fraternity show Greek that airs in the evenings on the ABC FAMILY channel, depicting what ABC refers to in their motto: A New Kind Of Family.
Joe Lieberman heads the Senate Homeland Security Committee, and thatīs turning out to the best news so far in this cluster fuck. He said "Fort Hood", "Terrorist" and "Prevent" in the same breath which is a quantum leap over the other pansies in charge.
"A senior U.S. senator on Sunday said the shootings at Fort Hood could have been a terrorist attack, and that he would launch a congressional investigation into whether the U.S. military could have prevented it.
Sen. Joe Lieberman, an independent from Connecticut who heads the Senateīs Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee, said initial evidence suggested that the alleged shooter, Army Major Nidal Hasan, was a "self-radicalized, home-grown terrorist" who had turned to Islamic extremism while under personal stress." - WSJ
If Jew Lieberman had ventured to mention Chuck Norris, and I happened to be under a black light, my pants would be glowing like a full moon. You ever wonder why terrorists donīt spend more time attacking groups elected officials? I have a theory...
"It is a certainty to all of our secret services. Iran is working today on a nuclear [weapons] program," Sarkozy told lawmakers from his UMP party on Tuesday, according to Press TV." - Jerusalem Post
I donīt want to bore you with the rest of Sarkozyīs speech about Iran having the power and intention of destroying entire nations in the near future, but it contained such forceful words as "gestures", "sanctions", "diplomatic efforts" and "seriously discuss". There was no mention of "Chuck Norris".
Iīd do Sarkozyīs wife, and she might appreciate that Iīm taller than her belly button.
